Divorce is never easy, and no matter how amicable it is or how beneficial and even necessary for both sides it appears to be, there is no “if” about it: it’s going to be very challenging. If there's any added animosity or one of you isn't in agreement, it's likely to be even more daunting. After all, it's the end of an important relationship and a huge change in all aspects of your life, which is going to leave you feeling uncertain and perhaps even vulnerable.
The idea of dating again once you've gone through a divorce might seem impossible, but it can be done and - many would say - it should be done. There is no prescribed amount of time you need to wait before you start dating; it varies depending on your circumstances: you could be emotionally over someone while still being in a relationship and living under the same roof, in which case, you are likely to be ready to meet a new partner.
On the contrary, you could be long separated and still pining for your ex or seething with anger. In this case, it can potentially take some time to unpick that combination of emotions and ensure you find yourself in a position where your relationship scars are there solely as a past memory rather than your painful reality.
The good news is: whichever applies to you, you can find happiness and actually, do it right this time around, but only if you follow certain steps and remain 100% honest with yourself!
So, let's take a look at how a dating coach can help you get to a point where you're comfortable with the idea of dating and starting a new relationship. Read on to find out more.
Building Confidence
Perhaps the biggest issue with dating after a divorce is the fact that your confidence might be knocked a little (or a lot), so you're just not able to ask someone out, say “yes” if someone asks you, or even imagine what dating might be like. A dating coach can work with you to give you tips and strategies to rebuild your confidence, and to improve your self-image and self-worth. Once that’s achieved, dating will feel much more doable and even enjoyable. Plus, don't forget that a confident positive person is a lot more attractive to others, so you might find that working with a dating coach will open a few more doors for you and present a lot more opportunities.
Set Your Expectations
Getting back into the dating scene after being married to one person for years (perhaps, even decades) is never going to be a simple or a straight-forward thing to do, so to make it easier, it's crucial that you have realistic expectations about what dating is these days and what a new partner should be like. A dating coach will be there to help you work out what your expectations should be or could be: you'll be able to explore what (who) you're looking for and identify some must-haves as well as dealbreakers and red flags to help you feel comfortable and safe.
Create A Dating Strategy
Do you remember what dating was like before you met your ex-spouse and got married? It might be a while since you dated, but even if it wasn't that long ago, you can quickly fall out of practice. When you work with a dating coach, they'll be able to help you come up with a strategy to ensure you make the most of your dating opportunities. You can also ask them for advice on the modern dating scene, which may have changed a lot during the time you were married. You don't want to start dating and discover you're not sure what the etiquette is or how you're meant to navigate this new world you're now living in.
Ongoing Support
Dating is completely natural for some people, however, may have always felt like a struggle for others, and starting again after a divorce makes things even harder, which is why it's reassuring to have a dating coach there to support you when you need it… A little bit like a friend offering comfort and a shoulder to cry on but armed with knowledge and objectivity – this has to be the best thing of all about using a coach.
Good luck! x
